What Is Trust?

Over the weekend, I read a book that, in part, deals with the question: What is trust? And as I read the book, I was reminded of an article I read months ago about Chelsea Clinton’s wedding.

Chelsea had her wedding at the historic Astor Courts in Rhinebeck, NY. The article I read revealed that Chelsea used the house across the street from Astor Courts as a staging area. The newsperson that penned the article wrote, “There’s an awful lot of trust amongst the Clintons that the neighbors won’t talk about the wedding.”

That struck me. The Clinton’s went to a stranger for a favor and TRUSTED that they would be discreet. What kind of people would ever trust a complete stranger? The Clintons, that’s who.

The book I’m reading (The Rational Optimist:How Prosperity Evolves by Matt Ridley) talks about the fact that for human beings to excel and surpass other animals, we had to learn to trust.

I don’t want to get into a debate about evolution here, so let’s ignore apes entirely and say that we evolved from cavemen to the superior species we are today. We had to learn how to trust. The group of us who became what we are today actually started to trade, which is something that other animals do not do. Maybe these evolved cavemen would trade a banana for a stool. To make this trade, they had to trust their fellow caveman.

This concept of trust sets us apart.  

Now, or course, when you trade, you don’t always get something of equal value. But what it does require is an exchange where both parties are receiving something that is of more value than what they are giving. Let’s say, for instance, that you have blisters on your feet that hurt so bad you’d give anything for a stool. Let’s also say that I haven’t had a meal in days and am a skeleton of a man, so I’d give anything for a banana. I have a stool; you have a banana. It’s a win-win because we both want what the other has more than what we have.

So what is trust?

Trust is the belief that another person’s word is good. It’s the belief that I will, indeed, give you my stool when you hand over your banana. It’s the believe that when you give me your banana, I won’t turn around and say, “Hah! Sucker. Now I have your banana. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

Remember the movie Wall Street? Michael Douglas plays a famous character in cinematic history named Gordon Gecko. Gecko is right up there with Travis Bickle, Batman, and, of course, Ms. Piggy. Gecko is famous for giving some advice to college students: “Greed is good.”

But Gecko misses an important point. He assumes that there are winners and there are losers. He goes by the theory of zero-sum game. You are winning of others lose. You are losing if others win.

But that’s not what happens in real life. There are some zero-sum games, sure, but the reality of human society is that greed is good, but it’s never a zero sum game. We are giving something and we are getting something.

This relates to all of us. When we provide a service for a client, we are giving value. It may not even be material value. It might even be a feeling that we give people. (I usually give people the feeling of happiness … or the willies).

Maybe we fix their car or file their tax returns and, in exchange, we get paid and—if we do a good job—perhaps a kind word.

If you treat your clients like they are in a zero-sum game with you, you will eventually go out of business. But if you both trust each other, and if you work hard to make sure you earn trust by providing something your client truly values, your clients will always turn to you to provide value.

Today’s challenge: Consider the answer to the question: What is trust? Be impeccable with your word in your dealings with everyone today.

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I Heart Jury Duty (and NY, Which Is Irrelevant)

I'm the guy in the front row, 3rd from the left.

You know what I look forward to (other than going to work each day as a tax consultant)? I bet you guessed jury duty, didn’t you?

I’m a pretty exciting guy, huh? Jury-duty-loving tax consultant.

Jury duty is great. You get a lunch break. You get paid. $15! A day!

Also, it’s probably the one and only time where openly judging someone is completely socially acceptable.

Okay, so you are probably thinking I’m being a smart aleck. To be fair, in most cases, you would be right. It’s virtually impossible for me to refrain from making witty remarks. (In the interest of full disclosure, my wife would use the word “irritating” instead of “witty.” It’s just semantics though.)

But in all actuality, I love jury duty, and not just because it’s the closest I’ll ever come to being Matlock.

And herein lies my problem: Attorneys never pick tax consultants as jurors. Accountants listen to well. (Also something my wife would dispute.*)

Though I have been called to jury duty many, many times, I have only served on a jury twice. And both times, I have learned a ton.

The first jury trial I had the pleasure of participating in was a civil trial between General Motors and MTA. I felt like a badass. I was referee watching two titans duke it out. This was Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield. Rumble in the courtroom jungle.

The jury had no sympathy for either company. There were two expert witnesses—one representing each side of the case.

The first expert—the fellow representing the MTA—wore a bright, plaid sport coat and a not-so-terrific tie. It was way too wide. (If you only take away one thing from today’s blog, let it be this advice: Always remember to wear thin ties and never wear plaid when testifying!) The expert was also a little argumentative and defensive, particularly when cross-examined.

He might or might not have known his stuff. I couldn’t tell because I was too busy being annoyed by his abrasive attitude. (And the stains on his tie – did he have soup for lunch?)

Then General Motors sent its expert to the stand. GM’s expert was wearing a smart, respectable, solid suit, not to mention a thin tie. He looked at the jury when he answered questions. He may or may not have known his stuff, but I was convinced that he did. He was in control. He was calm, and he didn’t try to fight with the attorney who was cross-examining him.

From this I learned how to be the better expert witness in everyday life. How you approach testimony in court is how you need to approach everyday life. Be more like the GM expert witness and less like Mr. Wide Tie.

(This blog is not affiliated with the MTA or General Motors.)

(I like both products.)

(Kudos to cars and buses.)

Being a good listener starts with small things – like listening to the waiter explain why your egg sandwich is taking so long. And the same holds true in dealing with clients, employers, and employees in business. When talking to an upset client, employer, or employee, remind yourself not to feel attacked. If you listen for the attack, you won’t hear the question, and you will respond defensively.

If you listen to the question, and then you think about what information the other person needs to better understand your position, and then calmly deliver that information, then you will respond more directly, and you will sound more competent.

Your client, your boss, your employee will think you are smart, even if you aren’t. Here’s something I know to be true: People will believe you are smarter if you want to help them and demonstrate that you can help them, even if you are not. By the way I am definitely not smart. You might think I’m smart because I’m a tax consultant, but think again. (I like jury duty for God’s sake.) But people keep turning to me for help, trusting my wisdom. It’s because I’m a good listener. It’s because I want to help them.

Today’s challenge: If you start feeling defensive, take a deep breath and remember to listen for the question. Respond calmly, with the intention of helping the other person understand your position. Answer to the best of your ability, and ask questions when you aren’t clear.

*Teasing my wife in my blog is one of the ways I flirt with her. I know that makes my romantic skills slightly questionable, but for the record, my wife is pretty darn amazing and she never nags. Well, hardly ever. At least not today. It’s 6 a.m., and she’s still sleeping.   

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What Is an Entrepreneur?

Jean-Baptiste

I have a question for you: What is an entrepreneur? 

And don’t worry … this isn’t a pop quiz. One of these days, I’ll spring a pop quiz on you, but today’s not the day. Always be prepared, though.

Let’s get back to my question …

What is an entrepreneur?

Entrepreneur: man, I love that word. (Cue the chorus of hallelujahs.) It’s so majestic. It just rolls of the tongue: entrepreneur. Please take a second to say that word out loud. Awesome, right?

Anyway, the classic definition of an entrepreneur is someone who starts his own business. And last weekend, I learned that a French economist named Jean-Baptiste Say first coined the phrase “entrepreneur.” Jean-Baptiste (we’re on a first names basis) lived from 1767 to 1832 and lived thru the French Revolution.

So what is an entrepreneur according to Jean-Baptiste? He says it’s someone who takes resources from a lower level to a higher level of productivity.

That’s different from someone who starts a business, isn’t it? I haven’t lived thru the French Revolution, and I don’t have a hyphenated first name, but I’m quite positive that Jean-Baptiste’s original definition is not the same as the classic definition. It’s not the same thing.

Your mind is probably spinning at this point. Questions must be going off like wildfire in your head. Is this true? Has the definition of entrepreneur really changed over time? If this is true, what else is true? Is the world really flat? Does Santa Clause exist?

Calm down. We can get through this together.

Now I’ve always thought of myself as an entrepreneur in the classic sense, but now that I know about Jean-Baptiste, it occurs to me that everyone out there could be an entrepreneur. You don’t have to start your own business. Everyone out there has resources, and everyone out there has the license to bring those resources to a higher level of productivity.

I think that deserves a full on “HALLELUJAH!”

Now, this might scare some people because if you are an entrepreneur, you have a degree of responsibility for using the resources at your disposal wisely. And truth be told, elevating resources to a higher level is a great responsibility. Some people would rather keep their head down and just punch in and out without trying for anything more.

But today, I challenge you to imagine what the world would be like if we were all entrepreneurs working at the highest level of productivity. I just got chills. I’m writing this outside in the snow so that could be the reason for the chills, but still … it would be an amazing thing and we would reach new levels that this world hasn’t seen.

So think about what goes on during your day. And when something is bugging you, ask “What is an entrepreneur, and what would he or she do?” And then start talking about the problem or solution. Talk with your supervisor, tell your friend, tell your significant other. Shine a light on it and start looking for solutions. That’s the only way to make it better, to be more productive. The very thought process of you looking for these opportunities will make you perform better. Got it, people? I mean … entrepreneurs.

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Brain Freeze: How Can I Make Better Decisions?

I’m a member of Vistage, which is a group of CEO’s who get together to talk about business issues and how to make better decisions. That’s right … I’m part of a CEO club. We’re dangerous, so watch out. We get together to discuss exciting things like organization, business strategy, business technique, and NASCAR.

(The last one wasn’t true, but boy-oh-boy … I wish it was. Now that would be a great club.)

One month’s Vistage speaker was Holly Green, former president of the Ken Blanchard organization. (Sidenote: Ken Blanchard is the author of The One Minute Manager, which, incidentally, took much longer than one minute to read.)

Holly now consults with major corporations on strategic planning, management issues, and how to make better decisions. She also has a master’s degree in brain technology. She explained to me (repeatedly) that this is not the study of robot brains, a fact that I begrudgingly accepted. I guess.

So apparently, brain technologists study how the brain sees things.

Lo and behold, I learned the most amazing thing. At any given time, we only see 10 percent of all the data that is available. Whoa. As I write this I’m only aware of 10 percent of what is going on around me. Tiny elves could be doing tiny elf things behind me, and I won’t be cognizant of it because of my 10 percent brain.

How much do you think secret service agents see at one time? 20 percent. 20 lousy percent! They’re trained in observation, and yet they still only get 20 percent. When they leave their presidential detail, their powers of observation quickly go back to 10 percent like all of us average Joes.

The most important thing that Holly said was that we do not believe what we see. Instead, we see what we believe. Okay, so this is a little bit like the Matrix. Let’s see if I can explain …

What we see externally enters our head, where our brains automatically select which pieces of data to concentrate on. Then we use a screen—or a filter—where we interject on attitude and make assumptions. From this, we make decisions about the data. In other words, the tiny amount of data that enters our head is drastically altered by the time we process it.

When I heard this it blew 10% of my mind.

It is crucial for all of us in business to understand that we only see 10 percent of what out there. Equally important to understand is that this 10 percent is colored by our preconceived attitudes.

This leads me to wonder: how can we make better decisions? I know I’m only going on 10 percent brainpower here, but I think I have a solution about how to make better decisions. It won’t solve the problem entirely, but maybe we can get up to 12 or 13 percent …

First, we have to understand that what we see is colored by our attitudes. Admit we have a problem.

Second, and I know this is hard, we have to admit that we have a problem. There are things we are not seeing.

And then, we should take a minute to look around and see if there’s anything else right in front of us. Simply ask: What am I missing that would help me make better decisions?

So what’s the moral to the story? If we all looked at the set of difficult facts we are confronting each day, took an Ultradian break, and then came back to revisit the facts … what else could we see that we weren’t seeing before? We might make better decisions. We might come up with better, more sophisticated, subtle, and understanding decisions. We will definitely differentiate ourselves from everyone else out there.

Today’s challenge: Remember that you should use more energy considering the missing 90 percent than you do trying to prove your opinions are right. From now on, I’m going to take a step back and see if I can pick up a different 10 percent and make better decisions. Guess what? Just did it. And, what can I tell you? I’m still 100 percent right about everything and willing to argue you with you about it until the cows come home. (I kid. I kid.)

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Do Ask - Don't Tell

 

I met a man at a marketing event named David Berkus. David Berkus has had a wonderful 40-year run as an owner and investor in companies. He claims a 97 percent return on his Angel investments. He is one of the founders of something called the Tech Coast Angels. He wrote a book, Berkonomics, about lessons he learned from investing in emerging companies, most of which have been very successful.

I devoured the book in one day.

One of the things he writes about in the book is how the customer is the teacher. He highlights the fact that customers know what they want from us; we do not know what is best for the customer. This is worth repeating: customers know more about what they want than we do.

So how do you find out what they want? Ask them! Ask them! Ask them!

You’d be surprised how many professionals don’t ask a customer what they want. They tell customers what they need. This should never happen. Professionals are supposed to be listeners. When you listen, you cannot help but exceed a customer’s expectations because you are smart enough and creative enough to hear what they want and imagine for them a bigger future than what they can imagine for themselves. I firmly believe this and believe that is why customers respond to my company, and why they will respond to yours.

There’s a quick process you can use when you are talking to customers. (By the way, they are customers or aspirants—not clients. In Old English, a client is was another word for a serf. Unless you also use words such as “me lady” and “doth” and “betwixt,” don’t use “client.” But I digress. My point is that customers are not your subordinates.)

But I digress again. Here is an effective process I recommend:

First, be sure you contract with the customer to set their expectations reasonably. A customer might want something more than what you can deliver. The time to be honest with them and set reasonable expectations is at the beginning. I have never known a customer that would not accept what they have been told can be reasonably done.

If you do encounter someone who doesn’t accept your professional estimations, they shouldn’t be your customer. For instance, if you design swimming pools and somebody who declares money is no object wants you to complete an Olympic sized pool with a wave machine, water slides, and talking animatronic dolphins in 24 hours, run, don’t walk, away from them. I’m no swimming pool expert, but I’d be willing to bet ten dollars it would take more than a day to build a swimming pool with these specifications.

“Money is no object” is certainly enticing, but before being seduced by such an offer, ask yourself: Is it worth the damage to me and my reputation when I am unable to complete a job I knew was impossible to begin with? It sounds like an awesome pool, but I’m guessing it would take at least two days to finish.  

Secondly, communicate expectations both verbally and in writing. After you have had a conversation, follow up in writing so you have the words down. Confirm what you have discussed with Mr. Smith in an email. Copy your immediate supervisor, whomever is supervising the job, or anyone else associated with the job. Be specific. If you are asked to do X, Y, Z be sure to inform the customer you can do X and Y in four days and Z on the fifth.

Sometimes even the smallest details can bring a project down if everyone is not on the same page. I am reminded of the epic rock band, Spinal Tap. For their show stopping song Stonehenge, they wanted a replica of the Stonehenge ruins on stage while they sang the song. The sketches of the original design included measurements in inches rather than feet. Consequently, when the pieces arrived the night of the concert, they barely rose to the musicians’ knees. This is hilarious, though the band wanted the effect to be dramatic.

Third, when conditions change—and they will—don’t assume the customer knows it. Tell them. Re-contract around expectations. In many ways, a business relationship is like a personal relationship. Customers liked to be talked to. They want to be paid attention to. Remind them what you had committed. Remind them about any changes in conditions and then re-set their expectations verbally as well as once again in writing:

“Dear Mr. Smith:

Your attorney did not send his legal rep letter in on time. As we discussed, this will push us back a week…”

Above all, communication is key. Legendary filmmaker Cecile B. DeMille would have attested to this in his day. DeMille was preparing an epic battle scene that had been rehearsed relentlessly. As the sun began to set, hundreds of extras charged up the hill dressed as Roman soldiers, while hundreds more charged down dressed as slaves. It took fifteen minutes to play out the entire scene. When it was done, DeMille was thoroughly pleased by what he had seen. He waved to his camera crew supervisor to confirm everything had been captured. The camera crew supervisor waved back and yelled, “Ready when you are, C.B!” thinking they had just gone through another rehearsal. Then the sun went down.

Listening and communicating is critical. And the most valuable tool available for this is your ability to ask questions, such as, “Is this another rehearsal?”

Today’s challenge: Examine experiences in your own personal and professional life in which a lack of communication either helped or hurt you and think of what you specifically learned from those experiences.