tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71219972217516942542024-03-13T22:59:29.147-07:00What We Should Be DoingBusiness Advice From The Author of "Say Hello to the Elephants" and "Five Eyes on the Fence"Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-62290730228590147862016-12-20T14:51:00.000-08:002016-12-20T14:51:18.768-08:00My Blog is Moving <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you to my loyal readers and subscribers for your attention and generous feedback the past eight years. As of today, all future posts will be published on my firm’s </span><a href="http://rsjcpa.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">website</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have two blogs you may like: the </span><a href="http://blog.rsjcpa.com/rsj-thought-center" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">RSJ Thought Center Blog </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">contains industry news and helpful information, while </span><a href="http://rsjcpa.com/category/our-two-cents/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our Two Cents</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is more like this one; it’s conversational and observational. If you have enjoyed reading my posts here, you will find more of the same at Our Two Cents.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 8pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://rsjcpa.com/category/our-two-cents/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Visit my new blog platform Our Two Cents now.</span></a></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-82530528390775244442016-12-01T13:55:00.001-08:002016-12-01T14:41:40.777-08:00The Five Capitals - A Cheat Sheet<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">In my book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1w2DBAb">Five Eyes
on the Fence</a></i>, I propose a way to look at what businesses, families </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-id4vGUSjjSg/VDbZyFpU8EI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/hQAtoDND-3gU93tojtzYNBoKmpFb_pzbACPcB/s1600/Five%2BEyes%2Bon%2Bthe%2BFence_WEB.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-id4vGUSjjSg/VDbZyFpU8EI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/hQAtoDND-3gU93tojtzYNBoKmpFb_pzbACPcB/s200/Five%2BEyes%2Bon%2Bthe%2BFence_WEB.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
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</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">and
people really possess in terms of “capital.” The success or failure of a
business lays in understanding the potential and actual consequences of more
than financial capital. In fact, there are four other capitals that might be
even more consequential than money. The interrelationship of these four
capitals—sometimes coupled with financial capital—is what actually produces
expansion or contraction of financial capital.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">The financial consequences of a business owner’s decisions are driven by:</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">Human capital</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; text-indent: -0.25in;">—Who are the owners? What are their
intelligences, instincts, and values? This is important because every decision
is knowingly or unknowingly a manifestation of the value set of the business,
family, or individual.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">Social capital</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; text-indent: -0.25in;">—Who do the owners know and work with?
When they are intentionally nurtured, these relationships can be leveraged for
opportunity.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">Intellectual capital</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; text-indent: -0.25in;">—What do the owners and other members of
the company know? Are their gaps in knowledge that could be closed to
strengthen the product or service?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">Structural capital</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial"; text-indent: -0.25in;">—What processes do these people use to
accomplish things?</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: small;">In short, all the decisions
surrounding these four capitals will either subtract from or enhance financial
capital.</span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">This blog also appears in <a href="http://rsjcpa.com/five-capitals-cheat-sheet/" target="_blank">Our Two Cents</a> on rsjcpa.com </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-5412287248498901332016-11-30T10:15:00.000-08:002016-12-01T14:43:02.279-08:00Micro Promises<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most of us keep our big promises, but all too often, we make tons of tiny little “micro-promises” that we either never keep, or that we fulfill, but only with tremendous tardiness. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--QKXSDaHjQo/WD28mSO98YI/AAAAAAAAALo/Au3cM12KEBQ2RbxHUdZEwCbdy-uTvO1LACLcB/s1600/-No%2Bpromise%2Bis%2Bidle%2Bor%2Bcasual.-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--QKXSDaHjQo/WD28mSO98YI/AAAAAAAAALo/Au3cM12KEBQ2RbxHUdZEwCbdy-uTvO1LACLcB/s320/-No%2Bpromise%2Bis%2Bidle%2Bor%2Bcasual.-.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We say: “I will call you back in five minutes.” Then we call back the next day. We say: “Let’s have lunch soon,” but we never do. We say, “I’m happy to answer any questions that you have,” when we really don’t want to take the time to answer too many questions. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All of these tiny little promises are hard to keep track of. We make so many of them that we cannot possibly honor all of them. And we don’t take them seriously, do we? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We also break promises to ourselves. We say things like: </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m going to start going to bed earlier.” </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m going to wake up and go to the gym.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m going to call my mother.” </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How many leaders, bosses, and educators make micro-promises that never come true? The answer is: too many! In fact, we take most people’s micro-promises with a grain of salt. When our long-lost friend that we run into at the store promises to call us the following week, we don’t really expect it to happen. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But all of these micro-promises, made to ourselves and to others, chip away at our social and human capital. What do other people think of us when we fail to keep our commitments? Remember that when you interact with other people, you are either building or destroying <a href="http://blog.rsjcpa.com/rsj-thought-center/building-social-capital-by-becoming-sticky" target="_blank">social capital</a>. When these micro-promises are kept, the mortar that binds your relationships solidifies. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And when you keep the micro-promises that you make to yourself, you validate your own worthiness. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My friend and personal coach Michelle DeAngelis had a conversation about micro-promises, and here are my takeaways: </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. Be mindful about seemingly idle micro-promises. No promise is idle or casual. Someone might be holding you to it, so make the promise only if you can do it. Kathy Kolbe, my friend and creator of the <a href="http://www.kolbe.com/" target="_blank">Kolbe System</a>, advises that people should commit, but to very few things. If you are overrun with promises, you cannot fulfill them all. So when you make a promise, big or little, be sure it is one that you can fulfill. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. Once you commit, set up a mechanism so that you can schedule time to meet that commitment. Put it in your calendar or write it down, right then and there. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-683da165-b127-d2de-c066-ae8463bc40a4"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.295; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. Finally, make sure that you do not create a culture whereby micro-promises are broken by other people (which may normalize it and/or erode your own emotional wellbeing). When someone makes a micro-promise to you, find out whether they are truly committing. Say something like: “I would love for that to really happen. What should we each do to make it so?” </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">This blog also appears on <a href="http://rsjcpa.com/micro-promises/" target="_blank">Our Two Cents</a> on rsjcpa.com </span></i></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-4529613191650271102016-11-14T14:25:00.000-08:002016-11-14T14:25:55.156-08:00President-Elect Trump’s Impact on Your Taxes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9CYsZnCvpco/WCo5S8HvITI/AAAAAAAAALQ/3v4mT-aO19YUVBlIzRHF60u_E-xoVTsEgCLcB/s1600/Uscapitolindaylight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9CYsZnCvpco/WCo5S8HvITI/AAAAAAAAALQ/3v4mT-aO19YUVBlIzRHF60u_E-xoVTsEgCLcB/s320/Uscapitolindaylight.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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While some are happy and some are protesting the election of Donald Trump as our next president, one thing is certain: Changes will be made to the tax and business climate. Many are speculating about what might happen, but no one really knows what President-Elect Trump’s administration or the Congress will propose and will pass. So far the domestic markets have responded positively to the possibilities they see in the future. Europe is taking a “wait and see” posture. Both sides of the aisle agree that some sort of infrastructure initiative is necessary.<br />We would like to share our thoughts about the future:</div>
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<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Overall, we might see a broadening in the tax base subject to tax, but we probably will not see a drastic reduction in everyone’s taxes. Enhanced child-care deductions are likely, as are lowered tax rates and faster write-offs for capital investments. That said, there might be an absolute cap on the amount of itemized deductions allowable, which is why we are skeptical about the likelihood of seeing tremendous reductions in taxes.<div style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Lifting some of the regulations on businesses might make it a bit easier for you to operate and plan for the future. By lifting or moderating some of the regulations under discussion, more new businesses will have a smoother road to success. Likewise, existing business can act more “business-like” and less defensive.<div style="background: transparent; border: 0px; font-size: 1em; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">There will be some effort to further eliminate estate and gift taxes for all but the wealthiest of our clients, but it is possible that many people will end up paying more money in taxes related to assets passed between generations. The trade-off will occur because we suspect that adjustments to the income tax basis (for determining gain or loss on the eventual disposition of those assets) will remain the original cost plus capital improvements the original purchaser paid for those assets.</li>
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<strong style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">What can you do now?</strong></div>
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1. Be watchful and pay attention to not only the rhetoric but also the actual proposals that are floated by those who will be in control of the executive and legislative branches.</div>
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2. Be attentive to state and local proposals for both legislation and regulation so you won’t be surprised by state-level changes.</div>
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3. Spend time evaluating the human, structural, social, and intellectual capitals of your business and how a changing environment might change your strategies related to each. For instance:</div>
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<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Mind your human capital by considering whether proposed changes in regulations will change the way you will deal with your employees. How will changes to the Affordable Care Act (or repealing the Affordable Care Act entirely) impact you? See your employee benefits purveyor to help understand these changes.</li>
<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Protect your intellectual and structural capital. Think thru innovations and other technical issues in your industry. How does technology affect the way you get things done? Are you cyber-secure?</li>
<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">What about social capital? Be sure you are speaking to your customers and your vendors about how, if at all, your relationship with them will be impacted by changes that might occur in Washington or your local State House. Keep your customers informed about changes that might come about in your industry that could affect their ability to utilize your value.</li>
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Regardless of whether you are celebrating or grieving the new administration, now is a great time to spend a minute and evaluate where you are and where you want to go. The currents move on, even if we want to stand still.</div>
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We are thinking about these things and more at Rose, Snyder & Jacobs, and we want to help you be intentional and understand the future so that we can work together to make the best decisions. We stand ready to assist you as you consider what the next four years or more might look like for you, your family, and your businesses.</div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-63077435272229586892016-10-05T16:08:00.000-07:002016-10-05T16:08:49.030-07:00My Advice on Gifts in Financial Advisor Magazine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iPgDHWbQ73s/V_WGz6kQINI/AAAAAAAAAKo/f-siMhs2Nhgl7m8CTBKuYezpzaIKkPeYgCLcB/s1600/image004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iPgDHWbQ73s/V_WGz6kQINI/AAAAAAAAAKo/f-siMhs2Nhgl7m8CTBKuYezpzaIKkPeYgCLcB/s320/image004.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.32px;">I was happy to share my thoughts with Eric Reiner for his article on "Tax Tips to Close 2016." My advice on gifts appears in the current edition of Financial Advisor Magazine. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-line;">Click the link below to read the full article -- in which I am quoted -- and let me know if you agree or disagree with the tips that made the list.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-line;"><span style="color: #1d2129;"> </span></span><a href="http://hubs.ly/H04DdCw0" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.32px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://hubs.ly/H04DdCw0</a>Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-16309099422509760152016-07-11T14:51:00.000-07:002016-07-11T14:51:02.740-07:00Open Letter to John Stankey of AT&T Entertainment Group<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Dear John Stankey: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">We have never met, so you
don’t know a thing about me. You don’t know that as I write this, it is almost
the one-year anniversary of <a href="http://bit.ly/1WPT9Wg" target="_blank">my son’s death</a>. Jonny died a month shy of his twenty-ninth
birthday. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Al8Zv9QTnZg/V4QGYSE_DoI/AAAAAAAAAKM/jqXCueRBOygk8DAVtrqWy6ErJwcjGcDrwCLcB/s1600/JonnysRoom.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Al8Zv9QTnZg/V4QGYSE_DoI/AAAAAAAAAKM/jqXCueRBOygk8DAVtrqWy6ErJwcjGcDrwCLcB/s320/JonnysRoom.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial";">You don’t know that his mother,
his sister, and I recently decided to convert his bedroom—the room in which he
died—into a commemorative room where we could watch hockey, his favorite sport,
as a family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">You cannot possibly know
that Jonny’s hockey sticks and his diploma from Southwestern Law School hang on
the wall, alongside his certificate admitting him to the California State Bar
Association.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">And you cannot know that my
daughter, Katie, planned a surprise for me. While Chris and I were out of town,
Katie decided to do all the heavy lifting. She bought a satellite dish and a
50” TV, which she lugged into my son’s room, so that come August, we can watch
the Olympics as a family in Jonny’s room. Come winter, it will be a perfectly
cozy place to watch the hockey season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">There is no reason that you
would know that on Monday morning, I sat in that room and had a really great
cry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">But here is what you do
know: You know that your company’s internal structures have been carefully
crafted to keep all of your employees from bearing responsibility for solving a
customer’s problem. I know that you know this because my daughter, my
assistant, and I have spent about twenty hours of our lives talking to your
employees. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">We spoke with Adam from
Pennsylvania, Lee and Cameron from Mississippi, Keith from Oregon, and Peter from
the Philippines. And as my case was handed from one person to the next, I asked
quite a few questions about the structures you have in place for your so-called
customer service. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">You see, what you also do
not know about me is that I, too, am the CEO of a company. In fact, I have been
a CEO and named partner for forty years. My firm is not as big as yours. Not
many people know the name Rose, Snyder & Jacobs, but our clients would tell
you that our firm is damn committed to customer service. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I don’t think the same can
be said about your company. Sure, AT&T looks like a corporate success
story. You just bought DirecTV, and that seems to indicate that things are
heading in the right direction. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">But your internal structures
are a mess, and your social capital is racing downhill—and fast. Watch out, Mr.
Stankey: You have a train wreck headed your way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">You have already fielded
similar complaints from thousands and thousands of other unhappy customers, so
I won’t bore you with too many of the details of what happened. The short story
is this: Twice, your representatives were supposed to arrive at my house for a
DirecTV service call for the new television that sits in Jonny’s room. Twice,
they didn’t show up during the four-hour window of time that we waited. In
fact, both times, we waited the entire day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">And then, for a total of twenty
hours, I tried to reach a resolution with your office. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Your employees were
extremely pleasant and apologetic. They genuinely felt bad. They wanted to
help. But they had no recourse other than to stick me in the back of the queue.
Even though the AT&T/DirecTV technicians did not arrive during the two
eight-hour windows they were supposed to arrive, my request for service was
stuck at the end of the line. I was being told to start from square one and
wait it out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">This happens all of the time
with AT&T/DirecTV. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">But this is where my story
is a little different from the rest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I am the author of a <a href="https://amzn.com/1631570390" target="_blank">book</a>
about social, human, intellectual, and structural capital, so I knew what
questions to ask about the structures that a company needs to adequately manage
customer service complaints. In short, I wanted to know the answer to this: What
does AT&T/DirecTV do when it screws up? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Here is what I learned: The
employee on the end of the line who has the most power can credit an account
for $50. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Let me repeat this: The most
empowered customer-service representative can give a customer a $50 credit. He
cannot prioritize a case. He cannot ask a technician to make an immediate
service call. He does not have the ability to get a response from dispatch
about why the screw-up. He does not even have any way of getting in touch with
home office to ask for an exception. They do have an address in Dallas where I,
your valued customer, can mail a complaint. (What are the chances it will be
answered?) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">The most-empowered employee
on the end of the line has no ability to take any meaningful action. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Sure, the employees can keep
transferring customer service calls from one person to another, so it appears
as though customer service is a priority. But your process is not built to help
your customers, and you and I both know it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Mr. Stankey, I am not a
corporate giant. My firm is modest, but here is where it outshines AT&T any
day of the week: We know the importance of honoring clients. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">You see, I remember what
happened to AT&T back in 1982. Back then, people had to wait two or three
weeks before they could establish phone service in a new residence. It was
frustrating, but they had no choice. AT&T had acquired Bell Operating
Companies, so customers had no other option but to stand in line. They had no
recourse. AT&T could take its customers money, but it could not provide an
adequate customer service structure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Then the government stepped
in and forced AT&T to relinquish control of Bell. They wanted customers to
have a choice. When customers have a choice, they tend to take their business
to the companies who will help them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I have such a company—a
company that helps people. As a result, I am rich in social capital. My
clients, my friends, and my colleagues want to help me. So in the end, I spent
some of my social capital to get your company’s attention. I called a friend,
who called a friend, who called a friend who is a higher-up at DirecTV. This
friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend assured me that someone will be at my home
tomorrow to install my service. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Here is the truth: Even if I
didn’t have connections, I wouldn’t have walked away from DirecTV. I would have
waited it out because my daughter wants to watch the Olympics in her brother’s
room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">But a lot of your other
customers are walking away. They might not have connections like I have, but
they do have choices, like Netflix and Hulu. And you can only lose so many
pebbles before you have no beach left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Rest up now, Mr. Stankey.
Unless you make some changes, and fast, you have a rough road ahead of you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Sincerely, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Tony A. Rose, CPA<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Rose, Snyder & Jacobs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial";">P.S. I have strong social
capital, and I am certain that there are other people in my circle who are fed
up with your so-called customer service, so I’m sharing my story on twitter as <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">#</span>DirecTVService so that
other people can join the conversation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-78948731231564946422016-06-15T13:29:00.000-07:002016-12-01T14:47:54.636-08:00When “Doing the Right Thing” Becomes Inconvenient<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">What do you do when your core values go against
the grain of ethics? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLvE8d0mRMY/V2GzYDqbXRI/AAAAAAAAAJo/pvgGzqzrgWke7rpFwtFBuXjBy80ARhDMQCLcB/s1600/angel-devil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLvE8d0mRMY/V2GzYDqbXRI/AAAAAAAAAJo/pvgGzqzrgWke7rpFwtFBuXjBy80ARhDMQCLcB/s320/angel-devil.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Here’s an example: Imagine that your mother
calls. You chat for a while, and then your mother asks to speak to your spouse.
You know that these conversations never go well. They end with your spouse
venting in frustration about your mother’s antics.</span><span style="font-family: "arial";"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">“Tell her I’m not here,” your spouse whispers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">You value your spouse. You certainly value
peace and harmony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">But the ethics of it require you to lie. You
are challenged to either violate your own values or violate the code of ethics.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Azamat Tazhayakov, Dias Kadyrbayev and Robel
Phillipos found themselves in a values-versus-ethics situation when they
removed and disposed of a backpack from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s dorm room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was the suspected Boston
Marathon bombing suspect who was killed during the search for the perpetrators.
His roommates were later sent to jail for destroying evidence in Tsarnaev’s
backpack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">They certainly mistook the value of friendship
as more important than the ethics of honesty and reality. At the time, though,
they probably thought they were doing the right thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Their situation is obviously more severe than
the hypothetical mother-versus-spouse situation I asked you to consider.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">But does the severity of an ethical violation
matter? Is it okay to abandon ethics when we are talking about little things,
so long as you stay ethical when it truly counts? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">I argue that the little things define you. If
you are willing to abandon your ethics when the consequences are minor, imagine
what you will do when the consequences are major!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">This is a common theme in my work as a CPA.
Accountants value their clients. They want to serve them well. And every day,
accountants are given an opportunity to cheat a little here and a little
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">But cheating a little bit is a slippery slope.
It makes cheating easier and easier, until one day, cheating becomes the norm.
What do these folks do when they are presented with a major ethical decision,
one that could either result in a major boom or a major consequence? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Why they cheat, of course!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Your ethics are a code by which you decide to
live. They define what type of person you are. If you decide that you are going
to be honest, except when it is inconvenient to do so, you have decided that
you are comfortable being a dishonest person. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">A true test of your commitment to living an
ethical life is when you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">behave ethically
when it is inconvenient to do so.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">What do you think? Is it this black-and-white,
or is there some gray area here? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-60999891843240233212016-06-07T13:19:00.001-07:002016-12-01T14:48:04.075-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Does Praising “At Level” Employees Lead to Mediocrity? </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-dc6d0bde-2c84-b5c8-22e4-1dcfdff0a934" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most of us are doing employee reviews all wrong. You’ve got an employee who does his job well, so you tell him that he is exceeding your expectations.
</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But aren’t employees </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">supposed to </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">do their jobs well? Should they really be receiving accolades for doing what they are paid to do?
</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think not.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
June is employee review month at Rose, Snyder & Jacobs. It is a month of reflection, recounting, and projection. One of the tasks of all managers is to evaluate the performance of each of their team members. We have a descriptive grading scale. The top end of the scale is “Outstanding” and then “Very Good.”
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
The middle descriptor is “At Level.”
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
At level is for people who are meeting the expectations for that position in all respects.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Here is where some of our managers have a hard time: They want to reward their good employees with some sort of reward. “At Level” doesn’t seem like enough.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Those of us who were in the helicopter-parenting era are used to rewarding any positive behavior and results with vocal reward. Even "mediocre" got some sort of ribbon or trophy.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
As employers, though, we never hire people in hopes that they are mediocre. We pay them to do their jobs well. This is what it is expected. “At level” means that you are far, far better than mediocre.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Do you give your employees who are merely doing a good job—what is expected of them—a better review than you should? If so, here is a tip: Sleep on your evaluations and reflect. Does this person exceed the expectations you had when you hired him or her? If so, that upper scale is appropriate.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
But if they are merely doing the job you paid them to do, then they are At Level.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
And by the way, being At Level is a good thing! It means you are satisfied. It means that you have no problems with their performance, and that they will probably keep their jobs for their foreseeable future.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
But let’s be clear with your employees. You can’t earn an “At Level” standing unless you are doing a good job. Your mediocre employees are not performing “At Level.” They are doing worse than your expectations when you hired them.
</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.2; white-space: pre-wrap;">
When you develop a common and mutual understanding with your team, you can begin having useful discussions about how your employees can be more productive. But if you reward what should be expected, mediocrity can become the status quo. </span></div>
<br />
<br />Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-52763525977730684602016-05-23T12:11:00.002-07:002016-12-01T14:48:12.371-08:00Katie's Perspective <div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGlkXdyOB54/V0NVOOLNMFI/AAAAAAAAAIg/k4V04IjyLwQ6SQhoAHyDYzT1xwD84Jk3gCKgB/s1600/KatieJon1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cGlkXdyOB54/V0NVOOLNMFI/AAAAAAAAAIg/k4V04IjyLwQ6SQhoAHyDYzT1xwD84Jk3gCKgB/s200/KatieJon1.jpg" width="200" /></a>In the past months, so many of you have shared in my
family’s sadness of <a href="http://rsjcpa.com/on-the-passing-of-my-son/" target="_blank">losing our beloved Jon</a>. While a huge tragedy for us, it has
also been an incredible learning and growing experience. We have seen how the
concepts of human and social capital come into play in good times and especially
in bad. In a strange way, we have become rich even in our loss.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many of you know my daughter, Katie. This is from a piece
she composed for one of her friends. I thought I would share it with you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Katie Rose<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have always been trapped in my head—trapped by fears and
social anxiety. I felt so trapped that <o:p></o:p><br />
there came a point in which I boxed
myself in and withdrew. Being around other people became so torturous for me
that I began hiding in my room. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t that I failed to recognize that I had these
issues. I was well aware, which made them even more frustrating. My mind was
telling me one thing, but it always lost to fear and anxiety. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i59jmr3e-hs/V0NVOHGeVoI/AAAAAAAAAIc/RzDCPWiY7VsZoxnUMIclOmjt4URIOZFVACKgB/s1600/KatieJon2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i59jmr3e-hs/V0NVOHGeVoI/AAAAAAAAAIc/RzDCPWiY7VsZoxnUMIclOmjt4URIOZFVACKgB/s200/KatieJon2.jpg" width="200" /></a>Then I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my brother. Jonny’s
death made me question everything I ever knew, and though I would give just
about anything to rewind to July 26, 2015, so I could save his life, I have
experienced more personal growth within the last year than I have ever had. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After Jonny died, I began asking myself questions like: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">If I died tomorrow would I be satisfied with
my life? Did I want to live in my pain and misery? Am I living the life I want
to live? Do I know what it means to be truly happy?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The answer to every single one of these questions was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no</i>. In a terrible yet beautiful way, my
brother’s death lit a fire under my belly. His death has given me a whole new
perspective on life and the way I live. The lessons I have learned in the past
year could fill an entire book. Here are few of my favorites: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">When one story ends, another begins—and that
story always has a silver lining. The silver lining in the new story of my life
is that I have learned to never take any days for granted. I took my brother’s
death as a point of reflection: </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Did I
want to live in pain everyday, or did I want to love life, and have it love me
back?</i></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I do not hide from my emotions anymore. If I am scared,
I acknowledge that I am fearful and move on. If I am sad, I let myself cry and
keep going. I now invite myself to feel every emotion I can (fear, happiness,
anger, sadness). These are the emotions that force the most personal growth.
They give us insight into where our minds are. They tell us that something is
missing in our lives, and they call for us to find a way to resolve these
needs.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Being vulnerable with one another is the most
beautiful thing we can experience as humans. In a society with so much
competition, vulnerability equalizes us. Vulnerability allows us to show our
imperfections without shame.</span> </li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When tragedy happens, you can
either let it overcome you, or you can sit with the pain that you feel long
enough to harness it and turn it into power. I’ve chosen to harness my pain.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--iCz7KVxwYw/V0NVLF1Xe-I/AAAAAAAAAIY/4gYQHcwfMWMqzn_upFsaRCNon5a8uf9pwCLcB/s1600/KatieJon3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--iCz7KVxwYw/V0NVLF1Xe-I/AAAAAAAAAIY/4gYQHcwfMWMqzn_upFsaRCNon5a8uf9pwCLcB/s320/KatieJon3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<br />Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-56588927387597113722016-04-21T09:17:00.000-07:002016-06-15T09:18:04.296-07:00Leveling Up Your Business With Tony Rose<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
I am grateful to have been invited back on <a href="http://www.tendstrategicpartners.com/blog/" target="_blank">Smashing the Plateau</a> with David Shriner-Cahn. </div>
<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
Whether you’re an entrepreneur just starting out or have an existing business, this podcast is a great resource.</div>
<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
In my recent appearance on April 21, 2016, David and I discuss business coaching, which is something I find extremely valuable. Coincidentally, it was one of my coaching communities that connected me with David in the first place.</div>
<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">
As always, thank you for listening and please share your feedback.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FqyV93y06C0/V2F-3ctThaI/AAAAAAAAAI4/_kKqcN8RPkwDzlSKuJ_UkZ_t8SKjOP7GQCKgB/s1600/STP154-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FqyV93y06C0/V2F-3ctThaI/AAAAAAAAAI4/_kKqcN8RPkwDzlSKuJ_UkZ_t8SKjOP7GQCKgB/s1600/STP154-logo.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.tendstrategicpartners.com/episode-171/" target="_blank">LISTEN NOW</a></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-13852040389561213732016-01-21T12:25:00.000-08:002016-01-21T12:25:08.764-08:00Please, Oh Please: Let the Air Escape!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">I have always
been a loud talker. The employees who sit in cubicles outside my office can
attest to this. Why, just this morning alone, they heard more than a few
expletives that escaped from the walls of my office.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Many of them
probably know personal details I have confessed only to a few close
friends—albeit it very loudly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">In my defense,
though, they also have likely benefited from a good number of jokes that I tell
behind closed doors only. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">If given the
choice between a loud talker and a quiet talker, though, I will take the
booming loud and invasive voice every single time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Part of this
preference is based on the fact that I need hearing aids (thanks to the music I
blasted in the sixties), and that I refuse to wear hearing aids because the
ambient noise is so disruptive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DspATDeQIuo/VqE-DiaPcDI/AAAAAAAAAIE/zPz42sWyBLI/s1600/Silence....jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DspATDeQIuo/VqE-DiaPcDI/AAAAAAAAAIE/zPz42sWyBLI/s200/Silence....jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Yet, a larger
part of this preference is based on the subtext of what I believe it means to
be a loud talker versus what it means to speak very quietly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Is what you are saying
important enough to make sure that people hear you? If it is, then for the sake
of all of hearing-impaired mankind, speak up! If you say it in a soft, docile
voice, then I assume you are simply adding ambient noise and cluttering my
peace and quiet with drivel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">I was in a
meeting with several colleagues recently, and I spent the entirety of the
sixty-minute meeting confused about what one of my colleagues was saying. I
simply could not hear him, so I kept asking for clarification. This man happens
to be brilliant. He has quite a lot to say, and at each interaction, I become a
better-informed employer. But if I did not know him, I would assume that he was
lacking confidence about his opinions. Otherwise, why wouldn’t he want to be
heard? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">As I was trying
to listen to him, I began wondering about the ancient Greeks. What the hell did
they do before electricity? Before microphones and speakers? They had a lot of theatre
back then. Could only the first two rows of audience members hear them? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Was some seventy-year-old
sitting in the back row turning to his neighbors and asking, “What? What did he
just say?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">No. They used
the power of their thoracic diaphragms so that even the hearing-impaired folks
like me could hear them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">So I beg of you:
Let the damn air escape from your mouth, and say it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-64577037478791466972016-01-21T10:29:00.000-08:002016-06-15T10:30:15.509-07:00I have always been a loud talker. The employees who sit in cubicles outside my office can attest to this. Why, just this morning alone, they heard more than a few expletives that escaped from the walls of my office.<br />
<br />
Many of them probably know personal details I have confessed only to a few close friends—albeit it very loudly. In my defense, though, they also have likely benefited from a good number of jokes that I tell behind closed doors only.<br />
<br />
If given the choice between a loud talker and a quiet talker, though, I will take the booming loud and <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ykKsvxHkRT4/V2GQXaO14zI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/L-Tg9jptC-I3qJj37uDVYweReuLvRd5YwCLcB/s1600/Silence....jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ykKsvxHkRT4/V2GQXaO14zI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/L-Tg9jptC-I3qJj37uDVYweReuLvRd5YwCLcB/s200/Silence....jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
invasive voice every single time.<br />
<br />
Part of this preference is based on the fact that I need hearing aids (thanks to the music I blasted in the sixties), and that I refuse to wear hearing aids because the ambient noise is so disruptive.<br />
<br />
Yet, a larger part of this preference is based on the subtext of what I believe it means to be a loud talker versus what it means to speak very quietly.<br />
<br />
Is what you are saying important enough to make sure that people hear you? If it is, then for the sake of all of hearing-impaired mankind, speak up! If you say it in a soft, docile voice, then I assume you are simply adding ambient noise and cluttering my peace and quiet with drivel.<br />
<br />
I was in a meeting with several colleagues recently, and I spent the entirety of the sixty-minute meeting confused about what one of my colleagues was saying. I simply could not hear him, so I kept asking for clarification. This man happens to be brilliant. He has quite a lot to say, and at each interaction, I become a better-informed employer. But if I did not know him, I would assume that he was lacking confidence about his opinions. Otherwise, why wouldn’t he want to be heard?<br />
<br />
As I was trying to listen to him, I began wondering about the ancient Greeks. What the hell did they do before electricity? Before microphones and speakers? They had a lot of theatre back then. Could only the first two rows of audience members hear them?<br />
<br />
Was some seventy-year-old sitting in the back row turning to his neighbors and asking, “What? What did he just say?”<br />
<br />
No. They used the power of their thoracic diaphragms so that even the hearing-impaired folks like me could hear them.<br />
<br />
So I beg of you: Let the damn air escape from your mouth, and say it!Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-28447260866210455042015-11-25T09:28:00.000-08:002015-12-03T09:29:34.955-08:00On Grieving During the Holidays - The First Thanksgiving Without My Son<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
My 28-year-old son died in July.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Writing these words stops me. I sit in my seat, staring at them.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
How can they be true?</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
It is hard to move past these words today, in particular. It is one day before Thanksgiving, and I am wondering how I will make it through tomorrow—the first big holiday without my son.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<a data-mce-href="http://rsjcpa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Jon-and-I.jpg" href="http://rsjcpa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Jon-and-I.jpg"><img alt="Jon and I" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-3170" data-mce-src="http://rsjcpa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Jon-and-I-300x225.jpg" height="225" src="http://rsjcpa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Jon-and-I-300x225.jpg" style="float: right; height: auto; margin: 0.5em 0px 0.5em 1em; max-width: 100%;" width="300" /></a>Jonny would have turned 29 in August. My wife, my daughter, and I survived his birthday with tears and memories and laughter, and then with more tears. Yet, there were fewer expectations on his birthday, fewer customs, and fewer traditions to uphold.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Whereas his birthdays have morphed throughout the years, and we have spent many without him, Thanksgiving is supposed to be a certain way. There is supposed to be turkey and wine and football. We are supposed to be loud and boisterous. We are supposed to be surrounded by family.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
We are supposed to be thankful—thankful for the blessing of our children.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
And Jonny is supposed to be there.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
My wife, my daughter, and I will have Thanksgiving at my house, along with a handful of friends and family.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
I wonder: Who will sit in Jonny’s chair? Will anyone sit in his chair, or will it sit empty—a loud vacancy reminding us that things are not as they are supposed to be?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
We are certainly not the first family to face the fear of that first Thanksgiving. So many others have survived the holidays after a divorce, the first Thanksgiving after the collapse of a business, or the first Thanksgiving after the death of a spouse.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Today, it feels impossible to simultaneously grieve and celebrate—and yet, that is what so many of us are being called to do tomorrow.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
A couple of weeks ago, I had lunch with a friend. We spoke of Jonny, and I told her that I was worried about the holidays.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Felice said something that has stayed with me.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
“Remember that Jonny doesn’t die again on Thanksgiving,” she said.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Jonny died on July 27, 2015. On that day, we began to grieve. We began processing the fact that we would never again hug him or laugh with him or share a joke with him. He died on a hot day in July.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
It happened once. It will never happen again.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
It already happened, and it will not happen tomorrow.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
I remind myself of this over and over because I want to give myself permission to move forward. And I want this for all of Jonny’s friends and family members: my wife, my daughter, Jonny’s girlfriend, and his many, many friends.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
I do not want us to feel compelled to relive all of our grief, afraid to create new moments because we are so tragically lost in the past. I want us to make new memories, discarding this notion of what is supposed to be, and mindful that although we are grieving, we are also recovering.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
Jonny does not die again tomorrow, and we are recovering.</div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-71273896972229294932015-09-01T09:24:00.000-07:002015-12-03T09:25:24.243-08:00Pain Denial Syndrome (PDS) - One of the Best Kept Dirty Little SecretsMy great friend and mentor, <a href="http://www.ssca.com/about-ssca/our-team/106">Dr. Brad Spencer</a> of Spencer, Shenk, Capers, has spent a lifetime considering and counseling business executives. He recently shared this previously unpublished article on suffering. He has given me permission to share his wisdom with all of our friends and clients.<br />
<br />
PAIN DENIAL SYNDROME (PDS)<br />
<br />
Yes, I just made up the term…(there is no such thing in the DSM-5, the bible of psychological disorder diagnosis.) But tell me it does not exist and I will point to several contradictions. Recently a ‘medical historian’ reviewed 14,000 pages of medical texts and journals…he found only 17 pages that referenced ‘pain!’ (Why do you go to a doctor if not to alleviate or avoid pain?) If doctors don’t deal with it out loud than who does?<br />
<br />
It occurred to me as a behavioral consultant, that I have read hundreds of books and thousands of articles on issues related to management, organizational and leadership effectiveness in the past 30+ years. I cannot remember one reference to avoiding/alleviating executive pain in one of them….and that is at the heart of what many of these books are attempting to address and certainly a major part of our practice.<br />
<br />
At best, they refer to disappointment, frustration, being upset, or in rare cases even admit to being angry. And my clients mimic this language in our initial discussions. We do not admit (and even energetically deny/rationalize) these are forms of pain because then we would need to confront the root cause.<br />
<br />
Because you reach the ‘C suite’ in no way means you are free of suffering. In fact, contrary to the belief of so many who are not on executive row, the titles, pay, perks and power in no way prevent, and may even increase the performance/family related anxiety and problems resulting in deep mental anguish. Contrary to the myth so resentfully held by so many, those that do not have time to join the bowling league often have more anxiety and pain than those who struggle to make ends meet. It may not be more, only different, but there is little acknowledgement it even exists.<br />
<br />
This is not an apology for those in powerful positions, they chose their fate. And few I know few who would voluntarily change places with many, but the reality is much of my work is helping them deal with or avoid suffering. That is when they recognize it. This may sound like a strange comment, but much of their unconscious energy is spent denying or repressing the ‘feelings’ that are the manifestation of the issues they face. The attempt to be logical and ‘explain the issues away’ is the antithesis of dealing with (working through) the suffering.<br />
<br />
And it would not be right to imply that all pain is equal in intensity or duration. Common sense bears mentioning, there are clearly degrees, and a gall stone is a dramatically different threshold in both intensity and duration from a stubbed toe. Having to lay off a number of long tenured employees is different than cutting expenses.<br />
<br />
Suffering is divided into four distinct categories by those who have made a career of studying it.* You want nothing to do with any of them. And each of them can be debilitating.<br />
<br />
The first type of suffering is “Pain.” This refers to physical suffering, the kind of thing that takes you to the emergency room. If you have ever had a broken arm or appendicitis recognize it…even a splinter or back pain is something that can capture your undivided attention. This is truly the place for the physician.<br />
<br />
The second type of suffering is “Psychological.” Again if you have ever been deeply distressed, had your heart broken by a high school sweetheart (yes, you feel ‘life as you know it’ can never go on) or at the end of this very long continuum, lost a loved one, you do not need to be told what this is. It can vary from deep depression to just feeling rejection or not competent enough…it hurts and often causes you to obsess on the areas of discomfort. The executives and football coaches I deal with are often subconsciously obsessed with avoiding the pain of ‘not being competent.’<br />
<br />
In a fruitless effort to avoid that feeling their compensating behavior induces pain in others who are over-controlled or trying to figure out what is really expected, but never quite able to jump over the constantly shifting bar. Nothing is ever good enough to please the boss or themselves.<br />
<br />
This repression is of course complicated by the fact that ‘real men’ (and women) believe they need to be stronger than others. Part of this strength comes from making hard decisions ‘rationally.’ That is not the issue, the true problem comes to the fore when they do not deal with the hurt they experience for all the families affected by the plant closing that must occur for all the right reasons.<br />
<br />
The third type of suffering is “Spiritual.” That is: “am I committing a sin?” You do not need to be religious to experience this type of pain. The moral boundaries for dealing with others (often encoded as corporate value statements) are manifestations of these questions. The issue faced in dealing with promotion/layoff decisions often fall into this arena. Am I really doing the right thing by all involved, is meritocracy really at work?<br />
<br />
It is not usually as black or white as cheating on one’s expense account, but we all have issues at home or work that cause us to doubt our righteousness. In organizations we often call it integrity. And we all admit to falling far short of the ideals we set for ourselves. For my American and European clients with the strong Judeo-Christian value system this is where guilt** raises its ugly head to compound the suffering immeasurably …”what have I done to deserve this punishment?”
<br />
<br />
The forth form of pain carries this continuum to its least day to day, moment to moment arena. That is “Existential” pain. The most abstract of the four, this is an attempt to leave this earth with a meaningful footprint. One of the things that separates man from other life forms is the search for a meaning for our existence. And then if we finally articulate what it is, are we accomplishing it?<br />
<br />
At a recent workshop, when a hard-nosed GM in a major corporation got in touch with the legacy he wanted to leave, and where he stood on the continuum, he broke into tears in front of his amazed staff. The suffering was palpable as he came to grips with the reality that if he held his current path, he would go to his grave not leaving the legacy he so longed to create.<br />
<br />
For my Asian clients with a Buddhist-Shinto value system, shame*** is the underlying issue that magnifies the question “why could I not be more worthy?”<br />
<br />
So what would happen if you were to label something as suffering rather than simply trying to label it in a way that minimizes your responsibility to change it? The first step is to start talking about it and ‘languaging’ it correctly rather than ignoring it as pretty much all the literature does, or sweeping it under the carpet as though it did not exist.<br />
<br />
Yes, language matters and it matters most in self talk…if a friend describes themselves as frustrated, we assume it is a human condition they must live with…if they tell us they are in pain, we are more likely to take an action to alleviate it. And while we recognize this how we treat others, we often deny this is true for how we deal with it ourselves. The way you describe it will truly make difference in the burning platform of dealing with it.<br />
<br />
<i>*The basis of “total pain theory” goes back to an incredible woman, Dame Cicely Saunders. </i><br />
<i>**I define ‘guilt’ as thinking/feeling I have done something profoundly wrong. </i><br />
<i>***I define ‘shame’ as thinking/feeling there is something profoundly wrong with me.</i>Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-21323476550149584362015-08-18T14:52:00.000-07:002015-08-18T14:52:11.268-07:00On The Passing of My Son<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">My son was taken from us on July 27, 2015. He was
just one month and one day shy of his twenty-ninth birthday. The loss was
extreme and shocking for everyone who knew him—for his mother and his little
sister, for his many friends and his girlfriend, and for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Before Jonny was born, my wife, Chris, and I were
happy. Then Jonny turned us into parents, and in doing so, he conceived a
warmer, richer blanket of love than we had ever known. If you are a parent, you
know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Today, twenty-nine years later, it is hard to imagine
that there was once a world in which Jonny had never existed. It was an honor
to be Jonathan Thomas Rose’s father, and I am, at times, petrified of this new world
in which he once again no longer exists. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">A few nights ago, Chris and I sat on the porch with
our daughter, Katie, discussing all of the people whose lives have been touched
by Jonny. On the front of Katie’s mind was one of his childhood friends. Katie
shared a series of text messages she exchanged with this friend, who had
reached out to Katie for comfort. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The text messages Katie sent to Jonny’s friend said
things like: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">“You’re never
going to be ready [to accept this and move forward]. There isn’t going to be an
exact moment when know you’re ready. It’s a gradual process day in and day out.
Every day will just get a little easier.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Take it as a
point as reflection: Do you want to be in pain every day or do you want to love
life and have life love you back?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Some days may
be harder than others but somewhere along the line we’ll find internal peace. We
will feel Jonny in the things that connected us to Jonny and know he is with
us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Sitting on that porch, I was in awe at the depth of
Katie’s interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence. It is an honor to be
Katie’s father, too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I considered what I could learn about constructive
grieving from my 23-year-old daughter’s words. This is what I came up with …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">It is easy to choose happiness when the sun is
smiling down on you—when your healthy newborn son’s eyes are locked onto yours,
when he smiles at you from the rink after winning his first hockey tournament
twelve years later, or when he tells you he has fallen in love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">It’s harder to choose happiness when this too-young
man dies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Yet in a time of extreme grief, this is when the
choice becomes so much more important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">No matter what the loss—whether it is the loss of a
loved one, or something less shocking like the failure of a business—our mettle
is tested by whether we choose to surrender to despair or rise from it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Plenty of bad days have won, and I am certain I will
succumb to others. I will lament the unfairness of a father losing his son—of a
child dying before the parent he created. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But day in and day out, I will choose to return to
this…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">There was once a world in which Jonathan Thomas Rose
had never existed, but for 28 years, 10 months, and 30 days, I was given a gift
of knowing an extraordinary young man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I will speak of him fondly and often. I will speak of
him with love, and I will speak of him with much, much happiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-57121851497862980212015-03-05T13:55:00.001-08:002015-10-13T15:59:46.702-07:00The Importance of Nurturing Your Relationship with So-Called “Strangers”<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I write in my second book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1EjShTr" target="_blank">Five Eyes on the Fence</a>, </i>about the
importance of protecting your </span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1EjShTr" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-id4vGUSjjSg/VDbZyFpU8EI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/V8qXiF4hkK0/s1600/Five%2BEyes%2Bon%2Bthe%2BFence_WEB.jpg" width="133" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1EjShTr" target="_blank">Amazon Affiliate Link</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
social capital. My thesis is that financial
capital is a byproduct of four other types of capitals. When human, social,
intellectual, and structural capital are well-tended, financial capital
flourishes. <o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Social capital can be summarized in
two words: Relationships matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The strength of your relationship
with clients, potential clients, vendors, employees, and colleagues determines
the extent to which these relationships can be accessed as a resource. The
stronger the social capital, the more likely your financial capital will
benefit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And the stronger your relationship
with strangers, the better your social capital. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I know what you are thinking, “Wait a
minute: How can a person have a relationship with a stranger? Isn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not knowing the person</i> the very
definition of a stranger?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And therein lies the problem. You
don’t know what you don’t know. You don’t know whether someone else knows
something about you. You don’t know if a so-called “stranger” has an eye on
you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">When you walk through life, consider
that you are often being observed. If you are being ungrateful, pessimistic, or
otherwise unpleasant, “strangers” are noticing. When you post hostile messages
on someone’s social media site, “strangers” are reading these messages. When
you are rude to the barista, “strangers” are less inclined to engage your
conversations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Those strangers might be people who
would have otherwise turned into important components of your social capital
network.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This February, I spoke to the </span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">students
at the University of Southern California’s Leventhal School of Accounting about
my book, and how they can use the four other capitals to help their clients
strengthen their financial capital.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">During our discussion about nurturing relationships
with social capital, a student brought this to my attention: The following
Friday, a prestigious speaker was visiting their school. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I gave this advice: “Dress like you are going to a
job interview.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the students objected: “There are going to
be thousands of people at the event. Why would he notice me?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">My response was this: “There are going to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thousands of people at the event. </i>Someone
will notice you, and that person might just be your next boss.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This holds true in life. Of the billions of people
out there, you never know who is noticing you. You never know who will be your
next boss, your next client, your next employee, or your next vendor. So many
relationships are born out of happenstance. Why not give these relationships
the best chance at blossoming by going out into the world as the best version
of yourself? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The title of this blog is, <b>“What We Should Be
Doing.”</b> Let’s choose to do it right, all of the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Because you never know …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-38035239394545061272014-09-23T11:55:00.001-07:002015-10-13T16:00:09.405-07:00Artists are Business People, Too! <br />
<div>
Earlier this month, I had the honor of being a guest speaker in my friend John White's class at Otis College. John teaches in the areas of Advertising Design and Communication Arts, and it was clear the group of students I was spending the afternoon with were a creative, inquisitive bunch.</div>
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So they probably wondered why an Accountant was coming in to talk to them -- especially an accountant who had just published a book. The creative types hire the number crunchers to manage the left brain-stuff, right? </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w4TpkRaN2-w/VCHBxGfHt6I/AAAAAAAAAGs/0SlH6aTAKFU/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w4TpkRaN2-w/VCHBxGfHt6I/AAAAAAAAAGs/0SlH6aTAKFU/s1600/photo.JPG" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
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Fortunately, I know that I don't talk like an Accountant is supposed to talk. And I brought with me a set of values cards for each of them, so that instead of listening to me pontificate on how they must do business when they graduate, they were engaged in identifying what is important to them <i>now</i>. We then looked, as a group, at how these values impact decision making both in business and in everyday interpersonal relations.</div>
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We also defined and discussed human capital, structural capital, social capital, and intellectual capital, and how these things are just as important as your financial bottom line. If you want to know about all the capitals, I suggest picking up a copy of my new book published by Business Expert Press called <a href="http://amzn.to/1uzeu7n" target="_blank">Five Eyes on the Fence, Protecting the Five Core Capitals of Your Business</a> (Notice the neatly placed commercial).</div>
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The worth of a student or any business is measured in more than money. I think they could see that they already have considerable assets. One just needs to be aware and intentional about them. </div>
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I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with those students at Otis. I hope they enjoyed their time with me, too, and left class that day feeling a little richer.</div>
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-6942076746830132892014-07-07T16:18:00.004-07:002014-07-07T16:20:01.551-07:00Risks to Avoid When Outsourcing Payroll<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28px; margin-bottom: 30px;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Outsourcing your company’s payroll has many of benefits, but
many pitfalls as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I recently
contributed to an article on <b><a href="http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/">Business News Daily</a></b> on avoiding these risks. Read the article </span><a href="http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/6650-outsourcing-payroll-risks.html" style="font-family: inherit;">here</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'd like to thank writer, Brittney Helmrich for including my thoughts in her article. </span></div>
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<b>Related Posts:</b></div>
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<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/07/thinking-about-outsourcing-your.html"><i>Thinking About Outsourcing Your Company's Payroll Services?</i></a></div>
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-13027366642450068922014-07-01T14:26:00.000-07:002014-07-01T14:26:00.395-07:00Thinking About Outsourcing Your Company’s Payroll Services?<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1; white-space: pre-wrap;">I recently had the opportunity to chime in on this subject for an article in Business News Daily. If you’re thinking about outsourcing your company’s payroll this may be helpful. And, as always, we are here to help answer questions you may have. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PAWY0zvkltQ/U7Mms0kMK4I/AAAAAAAAAFU/2D413qE3-FA/s1600/payroll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PAWY0zvkltQ/U7Mms0kMK4I/AAAAAAAAAFU/2D413qE3-FA/s1600/payroll.jpg" height="127" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: start;">Credit: </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 0px !important; text-align: start;">Krasimira Nevenova/Shutterstock</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">E</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">very</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">business</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, no matter how small, needs to process payroll, and deciding how you want to manage payroll is an important step.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While some small</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">business owners</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">pr</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">efer to do their own payroll in-house, there are many benefits to using a payroll service. With so many options to choose from, however, finding the right one can be overwhelming. </span><a href="http://bit.ly/1myj7xj" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>> Read more</span></a></span></div>
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<b>Related Posts:</b><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/06/kolbe-wisdom-changes-game-for-rose.html"><i>Kolbe Wisdom Changes the Game for Rose, Snyder & Jacobs</i></a><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/02/five-eyes-on-fence.html"><i>Five Eyes on the Fence</i></a><br />
<i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2009/11/getting-control-of-your-business.html">Getting Control of Your Business</a></i>Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-87679785851029883342014-06-26T14:46:00.000-07:002014-06-26T14:46:21.639-07:00Kolbe Wisdom™ Changes the Game for Rose, Snyder & Jacobs<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>At <a href="http://www.rsjcpa.com/">Rose, Snyder & Jacobs</a>, we use the Kolbe System to build our team and create our company culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This month’s Kolbe Connection
highlights our success story – and features yours truly.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">When Tony Rose learned about his M.O. it really helped him understand himself. “It permitted me to be me,” he said. At the time, his executive team was struggling to work together. The company was managing alright, growing and making money, but it just wasn’t easy. Like many other companies, they promoted people to managerial roles without understanding that just because people are great at their job doesn’t mean they would be great</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"><b> </b>managing<b> </b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">people who do that job.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://bit.ly/1m0LPrF">Read more >></a></span><br />
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Be sure to visit <a href="http://www.kolbe.com/">Kolbe.com </a>and follow <a href="https://twitter.com/Kolbe_Corp">@Kolbe_Corp</a> on Twitter to learn more about how the Kolbe System may benefit your company.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Related Posts:</i></b><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/02/five-eyes-on-fence.html"><i>Five Eyes on the Fence</i></a><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013_10_01_archive.html"><i>What's YOUR Pixie Dust?</i></a><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013_07_01_archive.html"><i>Deep Thoughts on Thoughtful Disagreement</i></a><br />
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<br />Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-52494850184360287742014-02-27T15:36:00.000-08:002014-09-15T15:33:42.341-07:00Five Eyes On The Fence<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of you might know that I am in the process of finishing
up a manuscript for my second book. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fdNA8KcGVsE/Uw-p9aaqoXI/AAAAAAAAABA/ELGbrvITwc0/s1600/cave-write.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fdNA8KcGVsE/Uw-p9aaqoXI/AAAAAAAAABA/ELGbrvITwc0/s1600/cave-write.jpg" height="185" width="200" /></a></div>
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Manuscript. I like saying that word. It sounds prestigious
and dignified. And the truth is that this book is the culmination of close to seven
years of reflection. This book represents the challenges I try to solve when
consulting with our business clients. You see, many of my partners and I don't solely
give accounting and tax advice. Often, a simple tax question can turn into a
complex discussion of the intricacies of doing business, so we help our clients
with all five of their business’s capitals, not just their financial capital
and tax-planning needs. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s right: A business has five capitals. Take <a href="http://www.rsjcpa.com/">RSJ</a>, for
instance. My first book, Say Hello to the Elephants, is an element of RSJ’s Intellectual
Capital. The book explained our quadrant planning-process, which is a Structural
Capital that we use to help our clients solve problems. Speaking of our
clients, our network of clients, colleagues and associates represents a
portion of the Social Capital of our company. And this sequential-step process
(quadrant planning) helps us live up to the refer-ability standards that are
part of the values defined by our Human Capital.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1631570978/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1631570978&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwhatwesho-20&linkId=GF3PVUHTQ7CMOWD5%22%3EFive%20Eyes%20on%20the%20Fence:%20Protecting%20the%20Five%20Core%20Capitals%20of%20Your%20Business%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=httpwhatwesho-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1631570978%22%20width=%221%22%20height=%221%22%20border=%220%22%20alt=%22%22%20style=%22border:none%20!important;%20margin:0px%20!important;%22%20/%3E">Buy Five Eyes on the Fence now</a></div>
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Intellectual, Structural, Social, and Human Capital: These
are four of the five capitals that constitute a business, with Financial
Capital being the fifth. It is one of my core beliefs that the effectiveness of
business planning increases exponentially when an owner and her advisors keep an
eye on each of these capitals—when they keep a total of five eyes on the fence, guarding their business. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have read snippets about the different capitals. A number
of authors, for example, have written about the importance of defining a family-owned
business’s values (which are part of a company’s Human Capital). Tech company
executives know that protecting Intellectual Capital is paramount. Yet, I’ve
never read a book in which the author has integrated all five of the capitals
in one place. This represents a huge gap in how advisors counsel their clients.
And this is why seven years ago, I started to think about and actively seek
guidance on how to deploy more effective planning. <o:p></o:p></div>
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You see, without an integrated system for evaluating a
business’s five capitals, there are bound to be gaps. Opportunities will slip
through these holes in the fence, so to speak.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Fast forward to today. I am much further along in
understanding the integrated planning system that needs to be implemented if a
business wants to grab a hold of its opportunities.The more I researched the
book and worked through what each individual capital represented, the more I
came to realize that each capital is complexly linked to the other. Like the links
of a chain link fence, the five capitals are connected to one another and each
is only as strong as the links that hold it together.</div>
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There are many good business consultants and I am certain
that they, consciously or unconsciously, consider all five of the capitals when
serving their clients. I am also certain that those advisors who fail to
consider the effect of their counsel on each of the capitals can cause more
damage than they can ever calculate. If a business increases its rates to
improve its Financial Capital, but it fails to effectively communicate this
rate-increase to the clients, its efforts will backfire as clients jump ship. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Need proof? Just consider the impact Netflix’s $6 rate
increase back in 2011 had on the company. Surely, many of the customers who
jumped ship—and according to several reports, the number was about one million
more than Netflix intended—could have afforded the $6 rate increase. Judging
from the slew of complaints that circled the social media world, many customers
simply felt devalued, unappreciated, and … well, frankly, they had hurt
feelings. The canceled their subscriptions on principle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And who can blame them? If Netflix had focused as much on
its Social Capital as it did on its bottom line, perhaps its Financial Capital
would not have been so severely impacted back in 2011. Perhaps it could have
communicated with its clients before the rate increase, showing paying
customers that Netflix appreciated and honored them. Perhaps the company could
have implemented the rate increase and lost only those customers who truly
could not afford or did not value Netflix enough to pay the new rate. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7c_kNzb11bE/Uw-zhK80csI/AAAAAAAAADg/QxA3LvbSE6s/s1600/team+mtg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7c_kNzb11bE/Uw-zhK80csI/AAAAAAAAADg/QxA3LvbSE6s/s1600/team+mtg.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
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You bet that this more-than-money approach makes planning
more complex, difficult and sometimes even more costly. With equal amounts of
certainly, I know that it also creates a higher probability of success because
a business isn’t just money. It is the people, the values, the ideas, and the
process within a business. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In writings to come, I intend to share with you some of my
thoughts concerning each of the capitals. And when my book is published, you
will have a detailed look at each of the
capitals, how they work together and what we are doing at RSJ to keep five eyes
on your fence.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<b><u>Related Posts:</u></b><br />
<u><i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/07/deep-thoughts-on-thoughtful-disagreement.html">Deep Thoughts on Thoughtful Disagreement</a></i></u><br />
<u><i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/10/whats-your-pixie-dust.html">What's YOUR Pixie Dust</a></i></u><br />
<u><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-crazy-guy-taught-me-to-be-better.html"><i>A Crazy Guy Taught Me to be a Better Listener</i></a></u></div>
</div>
Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-90380609564350964302013-10-07T12:53:00.000-07:002014-05-06T09:39:15.755-07:00What’s YOUR Pixie Dust?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My kids are all grown up now (gulp), so it’s been a while since I read Peter Pan, b</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ut I have to say:</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I always loved the story.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thought that you could sprinkle a little pixie dust on something and it would magically work, always intrigued me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought about this the other day when I was on my way to lunch with Jake, one of my partners, because I swear that one of our supervisors has pixie dust. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jake was wondering what it was that made it possible for this great supervisor, let’s call her Sue, to leverage her abilities so that multiple folks, working all at the same time on different assignments, always get their jobs done and done right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While we were talking, I realized that Sue and her team could produce an incredible volume of work with really very little time involvement on Sue’s part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others, in her same position, have been unable to be this effective. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>So what’s the difference? </i></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">Pixie dust</span>. </b></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sue sprinkles pixie dust on everything that she touches. Just like Tinkerbelle leaves a trail of pixie dust behind her, Sue leaves a comment here, a compliment there, a suggestion here, and by spreading her pixie dust as she goes, her subordinates can fly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Her ability to approach her team in ways that inspire them to get the job done is her pixie dust. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dan Sullivan of The Strategic Coach coined the term “<span style="background-color: white;"><b>Unique Ability</b></span>” many years ago to describe the one thing everyone has that allows them to be incredibly productive, energizing and impactful on the world around them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #7f6000;">I write about <b>Unique Ability</b> in my book,</span> <a href="http://www.holaelefante.com/"><span style="color: blue;">Say Hello to the Elephants.</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span style="color: #7f6000;">Well, now that I’m old and soft</span> (<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/09/broken-promises.html">except for my physique, which is now svelte like a rock star</a>)<span style="color: #7f6000;">, </span></span><span style="color: #7f6000;">I prefer to call this “pixie dust.” Emotionally, pixie dust is the phrase that really describes just how special your Unique Ability is. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe that we all have pixie dust. If you think about your day, where do you shine?<b> </b><i>What can <span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">you do</span> that produces superior results and impacts people in a way that others cannot replicate? </i><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">This</span> is probably<i> </i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>your</i></b> pixie dust</span>.</span><i> </i></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know that you have pixie dust, and you have to find it if you want to leverage that <i><b>unique thing</b></i> to make yourself happier and more prosperous</span>. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Successful people have identified what their pixie dust is and have used it to help them in their vocations. </span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have my own pixie dust, and it has helped me live a life that is magical. Not to be cheesy (okay, I’m going to be cheesy), but pixie dust has allowed me to fly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pixie dust is your unique, intellectual capital. It represents the confluence of what you know and deploy in a way that others cannot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>So how do you find your pixie dust? Here’s step one</i></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"><i>…</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><b>Sit down where it is quiet and list all the things that you do. Separate these things into four categories:</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Things I do well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thinks I’m okay at.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Things I do very well...and...<b><o:p></o:p></b></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FKW8DpScwYE/UlMHuvv5ALI/AAAAAAAAAAk/pCHRhrhFbd4/s1600/young-man-thumbs-up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FKW8DpScwYE/UlMHuvv5ALI/AAAAAAAAAAk/pCHRhrhFbd4/s200/young-man-thumbs-up.jpg" height="200" width="188" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #7f6000; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>OMG! I’m so good at this it would make your head explode!</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That fourth column is where you will find </span><br />
<span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">your pixie dust.</span></div>
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<i style="font-family: Cambria;">If you need more help finding your pixie dust, check out the Unique Ability chapter in </i><a href="http://www.holaelefante.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Cambria;"><i>Say Hello to the Elephants.</i></span></a></div>
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<b><u><span style="mso-comment-author: 'Jocelyn Baker';"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_msocom_1"></a></span>Related Posts:</u></b><br />
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<i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2010/11/credibility-is-quality.html">Credibility is Quality</a></i><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-improved-you.html"><i>The New & Improved You</i></a><br />
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Tony Rosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08700705021241326039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-74082391608912861742013-09-04T13:37:00.001-07:002014-05-05T15:23:44.942-07:00Broken Promises<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">For those of
you who know me, it is no secret that I am (well, really, I have been) fat. I
wasn’t obese, but I have been heavy for as long as I can remember. I am big
boned, according to my unconditionally loving mother.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It’s true. I
am big boned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I was also
fat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In the past
two years, though, I have lost a bunch of weight by changing the way I eat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">This is the
time where you should congratulate me for my hard work …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Oh, geez.
Stop. Now I’m blushing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Okay, in all
seriousness, I have been thinking about why I have been able to sustain a
two-year journey toward a longer life. I had tried to do this many times
before, but never with much success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So why now? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">All over the
world, people are unable to break bad habits. The eat poorly. Smoke. Watch Housewives
of Orange County.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I think I’ve
stumbled onto the secret to breaking those habits …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CmcFlRJI_Rs/Uid35pLHymI/AAAAAAAAEaQ/Hl9bCiIBwW4/s1600/broken+promises.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CmcFlRJI_Rs/Uid35pLHymI/AAAAAAAAEaQ/Hl9bCiIBwW4/s200/broken+promises.jpg" height="111" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i><b>All of us
tend to make promises that are extremely hard to keep.</b></i> For years, I promised
myself that I would lose weight. And I promised myself I would lose a ton
of weight. I also promised I would stop smoking every single cigarette I ever
wanted to smoke between now and eternity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It always
started well and ended poorly. I would break the promise I made to myself over
and over again and feel like I let myself and my family down. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then I would
eat a hot fudge sundae and smoke a ciggy to make myself feel
better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The feeling
of letting myself down begat more negative results. I was putting a negative vibration
in the cosmos, which then bounced back to me in a way that was amplified. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I used to
lose 5 pounds and gain back 7. I would break a one-pack-a-day habit and then
replace it a few weeks or months later with a pack-and-a-half-a-day habit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So why the
new (and smaller) me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Here is what
I changed (at least so far).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">First, I do
what Kathy Kolbe taught me years ago. I COMMIT … to very little. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>I have
decided that the only way to change a bad habit is to be present in the thought
about that commitment for one day only. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Today I diet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Tomorrow? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If I choose
to diet, I will; if I don't, then I won’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">This seems a
lot less overwhelming to me. And if tomorrow I choose not to diet, I won’t
freak out that this is my choice for me, for one day.
I can always choose to diet the next day, if I choose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Small
victories lead to big accomplishments. </b>Small losses are seldom the “ball
game”. I am two-sizes smaller today than
I was in October of 2011. (So I guess in my case, a small victory led to a big
accomplishment in the form of a smaller man.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I am not
going to guarantee that I stay that way forever. The only thing I can promise
is that I CHOOSE to be that way TODAY.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-URMsGHSW2Kk/Uid5eDMvISI/AAAAAAAAEac/nHafX9lqNe8/s1600/give%2520yourself%2520a%2520break.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-URMsGHSW2Kk/Uid5eDMvISI/AAAAAAAAEac/nHafX9lqNe8/s200/give%2520yourself%2520a%2520break.gif" height="200" width="162" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Your
homework: Try giving yourself a break. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When you want to change something,
try promising yourself one thing and one thing only.</span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Say, “I will change
that something today but guarantee nothing tomorrow.” You may choose, guilt
free, to continue on your course or to change your daily commitment to
something else. You might find that the day-to-day accomplishments really
become the habit that replaces those things in your life that you would like to
forget.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u><b>Related Posts:</b></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/02/five-eyes-on-fence.html"><i>Five Eyes on the Fence</i></a></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u><i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/10/whats-your-pixie-dust.html">What's YOUR Pixie Dust?</a></i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/09/broken-promises.html">Broken Promises</a></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u><i><br /></i></u></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-58566586053560408452013-07-30T10:24:00.000-07:002014-05-05T15:30:51.920-07:00Deep Thoughts on Thoughtful Disagreement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
(and I Dare You to Disagree)<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CoZq3NWC1RU/Ufb7KG-rcQI/AAAAAAAAEX0/X_X2bFloVeU/s1600/being+wrong+-+head+of+guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CoZq3NWC1RU/Ufb7KG-rcQI/AAAAAAAAEX0/X_X2bFloVeU/s200/being+wrong+-+head+of+guy.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
I confess that I hate when people disagree with me. For me,
the stress of thinking that I might be incorrect gives me the willies.
Admitting I might be wrong? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
O.M.G.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also confess that I have shut people down here and there. Being
a big cheese at my place affords me the opportunity to do just that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is this the right culture to promote if we want to learn
and grow? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It sure doesn’t seem like the pundits or the politicians are
interested in intellectual debate. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have all seen it … The conservative commentator strongly
suggests a point of view. The liberal commentator suggests the conservative is
incorrect. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually, strike that. It’s not quite precise. One commentator
directs a finger in the other’s face, indignantly pointing out that his
opponent just crawled out from a rock. The other replies that his accuser
became a Ph.D. by fraudulently submitting plagiarized papers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pretty soon the discussion dissolves into a shouting match.
Intelligent discussion is lost as two seemingly intelligent people resort to ad
hominem attacks! Nothing new is revealed but the limits people will go to
discredit another, even if one's initial assertions are worthy of closer examination.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet the act of thoughtful consideration does not make
someone a wimp. It makes them either different or more resolute. A now stronger
position can be framed if you can support your position and take into account
more perspectives than your own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Consider Warren Buffett. The Wall Street Journal recently
reported that at the last annual Berkshire Hathaway meeting, Buffett invited an
unusual guest to sit on a panel of experts who could ask Buffett and other
board members questions about the company: Doug Kass, who holds a short
position in Berkshire stock. In other words, Kass is betting against success of
Berkshire Hathaway.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inviting a dissident was unconventional, to say the least,
but in doing so, Buffett was able to better understand Kass’s reservations and,
as a result, use this understanding to strengthen the messaging, address
objections from other shareholders (and potential shareholders) and reduce
skepticism of the company.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can all take a lesson from Buffett, but some of us
(clears throat), solidify our stubbornness as we grow older rather than use our
wisdom to create richer degrees of understanding. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Here is what I am trying to make a habit of doing: If
someone brings up an opposing view, I take a breath. (They say deep breathing
reduces stress. In fact, I am taking a long series of breaths as I write this.) With
as confident of a voice I can muster, I mutter with as much enthusiasm as I can
feign: “That's interesting. Tell me why you think that way?”<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ExIYImUEM6E/Ufb--folS1I/AAAAAAAAEYQ/mIyG-YbmQpk/s1600/cat+pretending+to+be+interested.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ExIYImUEM6E/Ufb--folS1I/AAAAAAAAEYQ/mIyG-YbmQpk/s200/cat+pretending+to+be+interested.jpg" height="148" width="200" /></a></div>
Then I shut up, or at least I attempt to shut up. Listening
with open ears is powerful in promoting discussion and thoughtful disagreement.
I listen carefully to any seeds of truth uttered from the speaker. Then I ask
myself: If I viewed the issue from their perspective, is there anything that
can be learned to change and strengthen my position? Might my attitudes change
and bring me closer to the results that I wanted to promote in the first place?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If not, at least I let someone have his or her day by being
heard. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Try participating in some thoughtful disagreement this week.
I guarantee you it won't be as painful as you imagine. You might also gain some
new allies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Washington: You listening?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<b><u>Related Posts:</u></b><br />
<u><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-crazy-guy-taught-me-to-be-better.html"><i>A Crazy Guy Taught Me How to Be a Better Listener</i></a></u><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2012/05/are-you-growing-olderor-aging.html"><i>Are you Growing Older.. or Aging?</i></a></div>
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-best-exotic-marigold-hotel.html"><i>The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel</i></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7121997221751694254.post-45836340514542202442013-05-15T14:48:00.000-07:002014-05-05T15:37:38.760-07:00THE PLANNING TRIAD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S3XbMgcEJpw/UZLPXP1BFJI/AAAAAAAAEUo/s2wYjUoIUvc/s1600/unhappy+older+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S3XbMgcEJpw/UZLPXP1BFJI/AAAAAAAAEUo/s2wYjUoIUvc/s1600/unhappy+older+man.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ned was not doing well.
And it wasn’t the “Someone-posted-something-political-on-Facebook” kind
of not doing well. His professional life
wasn’t going as planned and he felt unsettled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As he was sitting in my office, he explained that his old
partner offered him a role at his previous firm, but his position would be
slightly different. His old partner wanted him to start a new division in the
company. He asked me for advice. He was excited about the prospect of creating
a new beginning, but he wasn’t sure how to evaluate the opportunity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It struck me that his head was full of possibilities about
how this new division could work, but his vision was not cohesive. He had a lot
of random thoughts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(So do I. Like, I wonder if I should throw a surprise
birthday for my dog because…what if dogs do know about birthdays, and his has
gone unnoticed all this time?)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I digress. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
People say that when one door closes, another opens. I’m not
sure if that is true. Sometimes doors just close. In fact, most of the time,
when a door closes, that’s all that happens.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I digress again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I do know is that when you walk through a door, you are
walking away from something. Evaluating new possibilities can be difficult
because it requires that you consider changing the status quo. And because the
status quo is comfortable, many of us don’t want to walk away from it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is my process for evaluating new opportunity: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Imagine possibilities.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Evaluate results of those possibilities. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Consider resources required to produce those results. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CXL18lLh2GI/UZLLUp0sdII/AAAAAAAAEUQ/AXHQnUk6cD4/s1600/possibilities.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CXL18lLh2GI/UZLLUp0sdII/AAAAAAAAEUQ/AXHQnUk6cD4/s1600/possibilities.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine what the business could do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about the possibilities stemming from your new
opportunity. What is the vision? If the opportunity is related to
your business, who would you serve and how would you create that service or
product? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short, muse.
Wonder! “What would happen if?” “Wouldn’t it be nice to …” Do not stop at
what is “probable.” Consider everything that is possible under the sun. You
see, you cannot possibly know what is probable because you do not have a full
picture. When you start from the probably, you often undershoot what is
possible. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Evaluate the results. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After you think about what is possible, consider what the
result of those possibilities might be. Ask:
“If I do this or that, what is the result it will cause?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, consider whether those results align with what is
really valuable to you and whomever else is involved in realizing the
possibility. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doing stuff always causes something to happen. The
problem is that folks often have a fuzzy idea of what the results will be. And,
truth be told, sometimes they do not want the results. Results obviously have a money impact. Results also effect relationships.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a friend who thought she wanted to be a sitcom
writer. When she thought about the
possibility of being a sitcom writer, she imagined sitting in a writers’ room
with a ton of comedians, laughing all day. But when she really considered the
results of “making it” in the industry, she realized several things: She would
work long hours. She would not have a flexible schedule. She sure as hell
wouldn’t be able to pick her kids up from school every day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And none of that aligned with her top value, which was her
family.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1NML7W2R-Cc/UZLZv946MMI/AAAAAAAAEVk/Hu3q42V4h4A/s1600/Values+Tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1NML7W2R-Cc/UZLZv946MMI/AAAAAAAAEVk/Hu3q42V4h4A/s1600/Values+Tree.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Ned's case, creating a plan that results in outcomes that
his ex-partner does not value will cause problems down the road. This is
something Ned needs to consider before diving in.</div>
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Finally, consider the resources. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Once you have established the possibilities and understand whether
the anticipated results are consistent with the values of everyone involved,
then consider the resources needed to realize those outcomes. Contrary to
folks thinking, great outcomes just don’t happen because they make you
happy. It takes resources. How much money, manpower and know-how is
required to get to the goal? And more importantly, is it worth it?</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I call this three-part process of imagining possibilities,
evaluating results and considering resources, <b>“The Planning Triad.”</b> And here’s
what I like about it: It gives order to chaos. A new opportunity is usually an
abstraction. Until you can give it some sort of organization, you will likely
feel unsettled. But once you apply The Planning Triad, you can begin seeing the
opportunity as a concrete option. Then, and only then, will you be prepared to
decide whether you want to walk through that door.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Thought of the week:</b>
Next time a new opportunity comes your way, use the Planning
Triad---Yep---Write those three elements on a sheet and make notes about
each. You will find that it will help
you realize your goals. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<u><b>Related Posts:</b></u><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/01/plans-and-life-scripts.html"><i>Plans and Life Scripts</i></a><br />
<i><a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2013/03/plans-and-life-scripts-part-2.html">Plans and Life Scripts- Part 2</a></i><br />
<a href="http://whatweshouldbedoing.blogspot.com/2014/02/five-eyes-on-fence.html"><i>Five Eyes on the Fence</i></a><br />
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